I’ve been having a bit of a think about what can I do to give myself some mental breathing space to alleviate some of the constant pressure that I’m under, which is basically crippling me. In all honesty.
In retrospect moving house, I should have kept my gut feeling because I knew that when I moved, my world would fall apart. Call it melodramatic. But I
just don’t feel comfortable there.
And since losing my best friend,
It’s not a place that I want to be.
I could tie in here and try and make it nice and homely. But I just literally don’t want to be there. There’s no sorry, there’s one happy memory that I have about the place and not there.
just tired of always thinking of
trying to survive the next struggle and stuff like that.
I’m not in surviving, I’m fine during in slowly, slowly by a million things that are going wrong.
I’m knows I’m in a vicious circle, but I just can’t
to work my way out of it.
The final nail in the coffin was a very quick exchange with my ex friend and ex business partner about collecting other things. And I think that’s when I’ve decided that I’ve given up with this business.
Become the very thing I prophesies about. What would it take to make me happy? What is it I want from life? The same conversation I have with other people over and over. And it’s one that I can’t even answer for myself.
I legitimately have no will or motivation. To do
anything if I wake up,
stay in bed just to wait around to fall asleep again.
figuring farmer, isolated hermits, with no friends, no family, no prospect, and no career. I’m going to downsize. I’ve been offered a static caravan for half of the rent that I’m paying per month name. So I’ll be 250 pounds a month better off.
When I moved into the house, I had a foolish notion of us working together. It was supposed to be her little home away from homes, we could focus on work and get on with the project stuff and not have the clutter of teams. It was supposed to be an office for the power of us.
It literally is like
moving in together with a girlfriend. And then at the last moment she decides, Well, actually, I’m not sure about this.
And then callsign
So then you will,
You’re in a house of dreams.
Built for two on your own. Everything is a constant reminder of what could have been in the world of business and our friendship.
So I’m figuring
I’m going to tell you songs. The caravan park isn’t to find middle of nowhere.
At least I’m closer
to a main road.
The only thing I really have to work on is I’ve seen much junk.
What do I do with it?
In many ways, I felt
like this has always been my inevitable path to end up there. And it’s quite fitting.
I used to tell people that if you don’t dream you can’t
achieve and to be honest, I haven’t been dreaming for so long night. And now I’ve lost my one
person he motivated me.
And Yes, I’m aware I sound like a complete pathetic loser.
completely right. I’m not gonna walk you without.
All I can hope is that by
moving on the way If you want, I can hurt and upset
I can’t cause anyone any more grief. And I feel like it’s my
And This will be mine.
Punishment, so to speak for the things I’ve done wrong and probably haven’t done as good as I can.
We’ll keep you posted.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai