4am, coldness, stats and rantings

Its 3.43 at the time of writing this and normally on a saturday this is the point where I would stuble in, roll over and fall asleep not wanting to hug her because… fuck… why … sheesh doesnt make sense.  Get into bed and hug the damn woman….

I think of that and wonder what of her and Sam on that night, would they have been hugging and kissing that night.  Her son waking up to find a new man there, to know another person would be holding the woman I love so dearly in his arms and her snuggling, like she does into a loving embrace.  The answer is apparent and one that whenever is thought about either makes me mad or takes me to the point of tears.

This wasn’t a fuck buddy situation but something more than that which I dont think Kari has realized within herself.  His bag was at the door and wasnt going anywhere fast.  Do i know have to face the fact that all the times she told me about her buddies was lies or cover ups?

I cant write no more about that, Im in what was once our bed freezing cold and dont see a point to either putting a fire on.  Its a way to save on heating by having a laptop and tv in the bedroom (ironcially what killed our relationship)

However interestingly my stats for this blog show that 2 people hit the site and then mailed the link of said blog to someone.  At this rate I might be getting some comments and before the flame wars start, yes its an open forum for things.

The night out was uneventful, people were asking why I was so quiet to which the only answer was the fact that I had nothing to say.  Me, one of the most outspoken, stubbornly opinionated people doesnt have a word to say.

My leg from the dog bite situation hasn’t healed that well and is bruised to beyond comprehension, when a dog wags its tail and hits it I’ve never known pain like that, no more training for a while for me…again.  Seems that sam has the upper hand again against me.

Speaking of another sam, the ex from years ago who provided the inspiration for marxworld v1 is getting married.. again.  Shes had a rough time and now seems to be coming through the mire of it all

4.11 am, time for bed  cant believe im up again and its getting light… again.

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4am, coldness, stats and rantings

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