So this time tomorrow I’ll be in the durky depths of London. Setting off at 6am in the morning, 6 hours on the train, then across london into a meeting to get a website shopping system running that taken me over the best part of a year to see. Link is the example.
There are several reasons that I don’t like London to say the least. The mass populace of attitude walking all over the place, its self protruding intimidation of being “London” and being full of Londoners. To say that I cant abide the place is an understatement. But needs are what needs must however the meeting will be interesting. Obstanance v beligerance will be the order of the day, however this does give me the oppertunity to slide into the background, not be listened to and have the standard “well I did say moment” At least I have my say and dont hide behind arrogance of hindsight as seems to be the order of things at the moment.
That does make my stomach crawl, how have we reached a stage where people speak up after and not before. Yes this harks back to my previous life. Never has the claim been made that I know better and just how many times does my opinion said bring up all manner of other hassles. Should I change the ways of a life time, accept the mould of social heirs and graces, hide the opinions away, till the time comes to say “well I always thought that” Speak up or stay quiet?
For the first time in 8 weeks, I have arisen from slumber without a hangover to resmbl days of old when sessions on cider were common. The stale stnch of beer lingering in the air and that scrummy feeling that invades every part of your mouth. I hate it, being sober that is. To fuly understand thing something you have to experience and, being where I have been and going towards, alcholism makes sense when mindsets seek a way out. Yesterday was spent with the jitters all over the place, unable to focus and bouncing all over the place. Today is a touch more sedate as after doing my washing at 1am, then the washing up, cleaning, sorting ot cat and warcrafting, I really am tired today.
Good news is that I finally have help with my state of mind and going to see the “Mental health First response team” Jesus what is this now, an interview before the men in the white coats finally get to take me somewhere.
Breaking it down
No my mum doesnt love me
Yes i aspire to acheive in the eyes of my dad
Yes I am alone and seek perhaps someone to show what love potentially is
Money is important, it doesnt bring happines but brings a better standard of misery
and no, I think im worth less than tuppence in the world
Psychology 101 there in a nutshell. Why does a situation like this come about, at 31 surely there should be enough in my life to support me, people to fall back on, to get that pick me up, pat on the back something. Not me, oh no all paths I walk alone now it seems.
In in doubt, geekness can be your saviour. My rouge character (horde btw on Agramar server) is now nicely sitting at a lvl 24 and would of been 25 if not for server downtime, which in all honestly might of been a good thing as the night was turning into day quickly enough as it was last night
californication season 2
I love you too hunny, ill let you choke my whilst you fuck me…