I know this is a week late but here is the update on the therapy situation
Task1 – Use Elastic band to stop thoughts going down a negative path.
Pain association, Um epic fail on that one as the pain of thinking about the past is already bad enough
As we all know I got that one and got landed with more work that was a touch out of my remit but I will have a go. Sheesh why is nothing easy any more
Cook a proper meal.
Epic fail again due to lack of fundage, no car (again) and having no idea where to start. Though I have dusted out a cook book so I will give myself a point here
Go home for lunchtimes
Fail again, Work being too busy at the moment to do so. Well thats a bit of an excuse as theres no food at home, must take some pics for the blog
Tesco Job Application
Didnt bother after getting the PC role.
Think further afield.
Perhaps its time to move on from what I am doing. Don’t get me wrong my job is good, in fact anything like this ever again would be hard to find. Further afield might be london in a few months time. Will see once again might just be pie in the sky, like that ever happens.
Today is week 8 and the last therapy session. How do I feel about that? Not good. Its the only time I get to speak to someone who HELPS, doesnt let me self destruct. Come 4pm today life because a bit well…. harder. Theres not a reliance or a crux on going to therapy but it does make the world feel a touch less empty being able to talk to someone. Last night whilst just watching scrubs I just burst into a short amount of tears, even the cat gave me a hug at this point. At night i sit on the sofa, no one to tall and missing my past life something chronic with only the thought of my fuck up for company.
Ill leave on this note that I realise seh was more than my girlfriend (now ex) but that part of me that was missing , the push, the confidence, in fact you know…. she made what was the “chappell”..
Blog update in a few hours.