When it rains.

Sheesh.  When it rains it pisses down in a torrent style when you know you went out in sandles only for the weather to turn, a cold wind to blow over, the sun to hide behind cloud cover and then someone to think that its ooo sooo funny to dunk you in the sea with no clothes to change into and then “fancy a pint”

So quick update
Wake up, a wink from a dating site, first one ever. Good start
Into work on time.. Even better could be good…

Thats as far as it went
employee one seemed to think that a battery needed changing on a ups, just as his pc was crashing.  A ups either works or doesnt, well the BRAND new ones that we have do at least.  Then to find out that procedures werent followed and coupled with leaving early meant that yours truely is once left again to sort out the crap from people not doing jobs proper.  Thats the tip of it all.

Then to be told that when one of us is in the office its fine, when there is both of us there is an atmosphere.  Still on a basic positive of the day starting off well ish, suggestions were made to change offices, seating, pcs, this and that which all of which were met with “I dont see how that will work “by others.  Another year of staring at the same wall then.  Fuck isnt it jsut worth trying things at time that have no ramifcation on profits or business so a failure isnt that its just a test to see what happens?  Ack rambles of a drunk I suppose

So now im faced with being the bone of constenation but bare in mind the guy with the problem with ME was the one who got MY EX to take pictures for him in skimpy underwear for him to allegadly sell on ebay.  A nice reminder today was that , right just before going back home.  Man that brings it back , ever been to a place where black isnt black or doesnt exist.  You can always be told differetn but it takes time to confuse you to believe the difference in what you see, even when you present people with blind faith..

And I got to be honest the fact that everyone got away with it scott free, with no ramifications, no after thought, not a care and the only person left with nothing adn suffering is me.  He kept his wife and kids, she moved on that easily and once again, Im at the bottom and with less respect from him than ever.

With SP unwilling to give up the office, SW not willing to move ito mine then there is only one real option.  I go down a level from doing my project stuff and looking forward , to dispatching.  Yes ok thats one of if not the most important job.  Theory is that just let them run the company and deal with the upstairs stuff. Kinda feels like putting myself out way and beyond to accomodate those who seem happier and comfortable to dismiss ideas than contributing to a working solution.  Thinking on it now being cold most of the time, it shouldnt make much difference to me

Dont get me wrong here there is a damn lot to be greatfull here, the sea is close, the air is fresh, the views are stunning, free broadband, cheapish acomodation just that something is missing, there a gap and god knows what it is. Despite all the good things myself, in myworld unhappiness seems to reign supreme.

No its not just the money side of things and whilst money might not make you happy it brings a better standard of misery but more the complete package. To know what you like is to the first step to lead happyness.

1 day now to the next year. really dont want to think about tonight. Becks (ex ex’s sister) asked if i would take her to the george so she could meet her mates as she didnt want to walk in theree alone. I said yeah ok and send me a text. nothing yet and i doubt anything. No.. I dont like her in THAT way, shes a soul sounding on  a verge or going oen way or another and I hope that by just by being nice and a friendly person that might help in some odd way.  Yeah I know I doubt it and no, theres no danger of it going wrong and her going all mental liking me, shes way to sharp with that stuff hence being able to try and do this.  All a moot point really.

In weird dream land, who was that woman with black hair (again) with the worlds most gorgeous lips in a while top grabbing me awake to kiss me in such a way.  Must find that word for when you dream and ou feel whats happening.  Againt his morning I was sure I was awake but couldnt tell, like living a day without being awake and then having to do it all.. again

Put that along with talking to myself   and making strange noises, wonder if madness has taken hold?

When it rains.

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