Its not change, its the end

Like the title says. It’s no longer a case of changes, it’s a time of things ending. That’s the change in the ai that I speak about.

As ruthless as change is, it’s no where near as bad as the ending of something. Just rencentky a lot of things have ended but like tv, there’s nothing to replace what’s been and gone.

The question now is do i wait for the end or meet it head on before it gets the better of things and at least go out before being fully down and out.

Grabbing sntaches of life no longer works. For every moment grabbed , ten come along and remind you of where things are.

Recently a mate of mine got married and yes, my invite was in the post And oddly enough never arrived. This guy I knew since I was about 12. Yeah I’m pissed off in a way but not at him as it’s my life and the way I am that meant annoffer was not followed up on. So, should u you read this PS I’m hounourednyou thought of me in you’re time of need and I know it doesn’t bother you but, if in the oddest of moments it does, I don’t blame you for the invite going “missing” and that my friend is genuine from the heart.

Moving on here I’m sat in my geotagged position with more than a touch of realism telling me where I reside in places

It’s that thing of being the shortest and fattest person on a room full of people dressed like waiters. Fuck know what coference is going on here but i fucking bate hotels near race courses. Of I could must up something in me to fight i would. But that’s the poinnt there is no fight left.

Back in the days I’d have gone tooth and nail, right to the limit with a rabid determination of someone young and idealistic. Now… Well now. Heh. What is, is , is. I vot beat up And laughed T but despite everything I still kept going and scorned those who just accepted things.

Think I’m kidding, abbey who has some ideals and morals Sells herself so short becaue of a lack of belief. Despite giving up she’s in a place of having a decent roof over the head, a decent job, nice car, family but is she happy in the heart. NO but that’s fhe price of acceptance. Why am I not with her, because I won’t be someone go between. I am not that grass is greener on the other side. Acceptance is a wonderfully thing.

So my point is that I do accept and acknowledge me, who I am and all that shit. Acceptance doesn’t mean I have toilet feeling like a cint tho.

Its not change, its the end

Trying to find the positive

happy family

But that’s a lot harder than you imagine, there are 2 readers here that I know of that take notice and the rest are people looking at lilly allens tits or Jennifer aniston doing that semi topless shot where you can’t actually see the goods.    Increasingly this blog is a place that is a goto place for all the bad and the bleak in my life, the  times that when I don’t spend blogging are when life things are happening, however things have taken a darker turn.

Continue reading “Trying to find the positive”

Trying to find the positive

Tonughts post sponsored by wetherspoons

I don’t get it. No honeslty this time I am Los for reasoning ability or able to make sense of it all. 200 miles away from home at a new location for a few days and the fucking ex texts me to say the surf is nice at newgale. O say we had good times there and nothing. Fucking heck wound up right now to say the least. Over 2 months since I last heard from her.

Anyways crewe is an interesting place. My hotel this time is time is run by what can only be classed as a family of indian super models. Never before have I walked in and go I have a reservation and been told ” ah yes u”. This can only be due to an almost empty car park meaning poor occupancy.

Sonhere i sit in a famous pub after eating some very wet gammon going what the hell. Tomorrow it’s just striaght on with a job that’s cold meaning that at least in some other roles I have a touch of training. Here they seem happy to pute into the mire to get on with it. God o ly knows what tomorrows blog will be like.

So far in crewe Ive counted 6 ambulances and witnessed one fight right outside mcdonalds. The plus side is that for the itsthe time in as long as I can remember women wear skirts that don’t show their queef.

On my mind right now is the option to move
Out of where I am now to somewhere a touch more remote. It’s nicer than where I am and a damn cite more healthier biut it’s locale in the middle of no where worries me. Privacy is one thing but being some far from people. Ok three miles isn’t that far but it’s six from my local. Trying to spare some sense and think that health is more important than being able to walk to the pub isn’t as easy as it should be.

Going a few days without speaking to people is a very odd sensation. Ok the phone is one medium but it doesn’t have that same sensation as face to face company, seeig and reacting to company and such. Have a few days to mull it over.

Ok phones dying on me now so for my two readers , snelly and A. P. Here one of many updates.

Tonughts post sponsored by wetherspoons