Getting Ready

HI ther the two of you. Well perhaps three if the slimey cunt who tell people not to deal with me reads.. Yes.. You are a cunt

Anyways the good news today is that this week I think I’ve made my peace with a lot of things. Last time I did that my body gave up before I knew it and subconciously made preperations.

The last few days its not been a question of peace but seeing things through different eyes, easier than you might imagine.

I smile at the world through different eyes with an acceptance that only certain people get.

Getting Ready

Tales from the village

Well here I am working in the village of London town and hating each, every and nano second of being here. The people suck, the food sucks which leads me into arguments and a fastrack to I think getting my ass sacked out of here.

Still back home things could be worse. At least I’ve not split up with an ex who messes with my head, threatens someone, then suicide, then wants a double suicide and when that doesn’t work if she doesnt go back home willingly he will make life for her.

Yet being a female this is all normal somehow so you can see that years of conditioning have gone into this. Luckily Im also to blame for this as it seems that happiness can’t be found unless she leaves me for him.

The whole point of leaving is to have life and a bit of fun, going from one messed up relationship into anohter can’t ever be helpful but here;s the killer. Should I feel obligated to do this? I’ve been the one there helping her and pointing all this stuff out so should I relent and get with her. She’s a nice lass but its the whole rumors around the village, pissed ex boyfriends coming over etc etc. Jeesus, a clean break would be way better but after the texts she sent today, it seems that the only way in the world she can be happy is with me, technically replacing one guy in her life telling her what to do , with another guy helping with advice and such on what to do.

Then what about me. Noo cause it’s not like im struggling my way through life at the moment. Days consist of just staying in bed as there really is no reason to get up in the day. Interesting this depression isn’t it. Life is about patterns. A trypical day is

Wake up
Might eat somethig or drink
Get laptop and tune into
feed cat
Wake up eat, bit of tv
perhaps a bike ride
Justin tv and a beer

Odd days consist of applying for work as well but for the most it’s the cycle of the week.

It really can’t be healthy when you spend more time talking to yourself than other people however it has one advantage whilst being on a job that I hate here in London.

Getting used to not talking has kept me out of trouble and people leave me alone, thus less work than even Im impressed with getting away with.

Tales from the village

Given the heave ho… again

and there I stood on thursday, in the rain where she walked away from me and never looked back. In the blink of an eye she never even looked back, walking away with that typical ease of someone who;s made up their mind.

With no real reason I was told that It wasnt worth continuing with me as she might want to get to someone else, someone else who she doesn’t find that nice or attractive but just because. I gues thats the price of self confidence.

Summers, pah, keep them, the one nice day of the year in the sun with someone you like is never worth the eventual outcome.

Ashes to Ashes, Gene junt, life imitating art imitating life.

All in all, I made a mistake a few years ago. Im stil paying for it.

TIme to drink into oblivion.

Given the heave ho… again

Used for reasons I know

Lol I never fail to laugh at my own predictions and fair dues they come true for most of the time. Take today a las I know (AP. you know her) said that Iwas so nice an great that shes ready to see other people after going out with me for a while.

What the hell does that mean. I should know better.. Anyone who saw the last ever episode of ashes to ashes knows all about purgatory. Im here as a go between from one relationship to another, helping those who need it.

I hope its a way into heaven.

Used for reasons I know