Well here I am working in the village of London town and hating each, every and nano second of being here. The people suck, the food sucks which leads me into arguments and a fastrack to I think getting my ass sacked out of here.
Still back home things could be worse. At least I’ve not split up with an ex who messes with my head, threatens someone, then suicide, then wants a double suicide and when that doesn’t work if she doesnt go back home willingly he will make life for her.
Yet being a female this is all normal somehow so you can see that years of conditioning have gone into this. Luckily Im also to blame for this as it seems that happiness can’t be found unless she leaves me for him.
The whole point of leaving is to have life and a bit of fun, going from one messed up relationship into anohter can’t ever be helpful but here;s the killer. Should I feel obligated to do this? I’ve been the one there helping her and pointing all this stuff out so should I relent and get with her. She’s a nice lass but its the whole rumors around the village, pissed ex boyfriends coming over etc etc. Jeesus, a clean break would be way better but after the texts she sent today, it seems that the only way in the world she can be happy is with me, technically replacing one guy in her life telling her what to do , with another guy helping with advice and such on what to do.
Then what about me. Noo cause it’s not like im struggling my way through life at the moment. Days consist of just staying in bed as there really is no reason to get up in the day. Interesting this depression isn’t it. Life is about patterns. A trypical day is
Might eat somethig or drink
Get laptop and tune into justin.tv
Wake up eat, bit of tv
perhaps a bike ride
Justin tv and a beer
Odd days consist of applying for work as well but for the most it’s the cycle of the week.
It really can’t be healthy when you spend more time talking to yourself than other people however it has one advantage whilst being on a job that I hate here in London.
Getting used to not talking has kept me out of trouble and people leave me alone, thus less work than even Im impressed with getting away with.