The world has changed..

One thing ive learnt on these tralel of mine recently is the world has changed and i didnt realise it..

I’ve never felt so completly out of place in all the palces that ive been recently. Places have changed, people have changed and I still feel the same. Yes I retreat into a world of my own for a while when thing go to pop but strolling around towns and citys I walk about with almost an amazement.

London, for my pure hatred of it has somehow become quite and amourous city, smiling happy places for the majority including a greggs the bakers in a run down place near edgeware. Watching couples walk together and smile, just seems so far away like a foreign concept, jeez I can’t even wait in a busy line these days without a swear breaking out and nerves getting the better of me. Yes it’s easier to retreat into my world.

And this month of all months I discover e-mails from the ex which reminds me that shes getting married in just a few days. There was a small bond between us still even after this amount of time, now though what was once there has just vanished, leaving me feeling a little more lost than before.

Most days the person I get to speak to the most is myself which in turn leads to more social awkwardness and then a self fulfilling prophecy of retracting into a world.

On a rare e-mail from a friend I was asked what’s my dreams or ambitions, any ideas on how hard that was to answer? Nothing..none.. nada. At the moment the only real aim I have is to sign on with full benefits and be able to afford to eat and have the net, without debts piling up…

More on this tomorrow.

The world has changed..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s