Well the email that I sent out of no other reason than wanting to clear the air has bitten me on the ass. It was meant in no other way, shape or form than to be clearing the air and being nice, a thank you. No.. not with me it seem’s its been mis interpreted. Fuck is it that hard just to do something nice, from the soul, being fucking normal without it going wrong. NO. Fuck, remember Im the guy that had the chance to be me, normal, not the arsing, dick wad arrogant cunt that I was that night.
It appears that the email that I sent has now transpired to be that of coming onto the lass that I sent it to. Thus further screwing me out of any chances with this girl.
tonight I was asked that there must of been a reason that I liked Julie and I still don’t honestly know why Im in this mess of a mind fuck. Yes the self punishment of the whole what if scenarios has started. Gah each and every time I seem to blink there’s a reminder of a fuck up.
God damn it, when a girl says to you, after you asked her whats she scared of with being interested with me, that she sauys she doesnt want to mess it up.. do you..
a. Say you wont and then talk to a lass who is going out with a bloke and is chatting to you because you are alone
b. look her in the eyes, say something like. oooo you wont, hold her face gently and try to kiss her
c. Say you wont in a cocky voice, look away and chat to others.
Guess what one captain fuck up did.