What the hell is going on.

Right ok, so when did I start going off my rocker when getting drunk, causing arguments, almost causing fights, almost getting into fights, upsetting people, kneeling on my knees in the middle of a road wanting to get run over.  Something is not right in my mind and I’m fucked if I have an idea what it is.  Oh did I mention this happening, my blacking out and not remembering a thing?

Culprit 1. should be drink, it haddle the mind and messes things up more than it should do.  Very plausable that what is being consumed is messing around withthat little thing I have called a brain box.  All good and well till I look at what I drink and how much.  Drinking the same things but not as much or as often.  Even my eating has improved, all be it very slightly with the intake of vitamins and greens.

Culprit 2. Could the pills that I’ve been  taking have something to do with this?  It’s only vitamins and cod liver oil.  Perhaps next time IF I do venture out, I’ll forget to take them and see how I end up

But this is where the problem lies.  If the above had been a one off occasion then the need to worry is reduced.  This is the third time where I’ve almost been at the wrong side of a major ass kicking.

Culprit 3. Answers on a postcard please.

Having just spent the last 30 mins talkinto myself in the car, without the imginary persont hat I sometimes talk to and see what should be said in the vienest of all efforts to be prepared for any converstation, especially with the female variety, it probably boils down to an inward anger thats been projected outwards.

I’m not angry at anyone but myself.  Not the people with jobs, houses, relationships and all that sort of stuff.  Not in the slightest but the anger is at me for failing to achieve anything like that and in some cases, having achieved all of the above, then looisng it all, not once but many times.

So knowing the problem are knowing where the start of the issues lie makes for a good step forward but the question still remains… What now?

What the hell is going on.

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