Well that went ok, not brilliant but not bad and walked away from it thinking that I didn’t get it and I was right. The little voice in the head. That’s what you get for being the first person for an interview on a Monday morning.
I waited to hear about the job til today (thursday) but life hadn’t quite decided that I was going through enough stressing to see if I had the role.
Out of the blue the ex get’s in touch with me to let me know she’s pregnant. I’ve seen her in town a couple of times and no text or anything but then to tell me she’s preggers. Why? Someone please explain this. We met up last year and it’s been over 10 months since I saw her, the last conversation was when she was helping me with this lass I liked, and we all know how that helped.
Furthering the crap that has bestowed itself upon my week another job that I was going to be offered was filled even before I get to the interview stage.
Where does this leave me now. Well still without a job, prospects of getting a job. The girl from the supermarket doesn’t even bother to say hello to me now. Secretly I was laughing on the inside when I went to where she works to see a pal who works there, all suited and booted and that might have taken her back a little. Then again more than likely she didn’t give 2 shits about. Last sunday she saw me she did seem to go as pale as a ghost when i was going in to get a few bits.
Bring’s me onto what the shrink said to me a while ago “expect nothing” Now for what little way I was bought up and raised I was always expected to use manners and the same accordingly. That, as I was told was wrong. So now , likemost things in my life the only thing I can hope for is just that hope.
The same peopl who saw me the few times when i was out with the Julie now don’t even recognise my existance, not a jot of an awkward acknowledging smile. Nothing. Should I be surprised. I guess not. Shocked, a little. The same old same old really.
For me, living with just the thing of blind “hope” isn’t good enough for me. That’s no way to go on doing stuff. I can say whilst writing this in the pub, in my little corner with my laptop, I honestly have no idea what to do, where to go or anything.