Sandy, lots much to report severely apart from the fact I am still brooding over the events of the weekend. I guess I’m still astonished us just home self centred people really are. Which in turn bugs me even more because I always seem to be on this blog saying exactly that very thing
It could just be the fact I’m having an identity crisis. Trying to make everyone happy and play all corners of the game I feel I may have lost some of my self identity. In short I have started to care a little bit too much about what people think of me instead of just being me.
But what’s really bugging me is a chance comments by the Julie woman I was on about earlier this year. She says to me be careful because he will only look after himself above or others. This has recently been proven with many conversations when he has said he will screw anyone over to keep number one, number one
Moreover another problem I have is that because I don’t have that many friends I seem to have two almost placate them, suck up to them in a way just because I’m here in this small minded village on my own so every friends and colleagues I get to me is more precious than ever.
To matter and I never understood the sailing do unto others as you would have to do to you. From what I’ve seen that has never ever come into play. I sincerely believe I treat others above and beyond what is classed as the realms of normal. However the times when I’m really in the ships and I really need some help suddenly that’s when you find out where people really stand on what they really think of you. Yes, friends might help you, with some extra hours at work so they will cover a shift for you but in the end that still benefits them more than you so I don’t class things like that as Judy hoping that more than inconvenience to them but they get paid for it.
But when a friend, after a particularly bad night, then starts gossiping you quite literally behind your back you have to raise an eyebrow and think what the hell.