It’s hard to explain things in this post but just recently I’ve been swept with overwhelming anger. First off it starts as an irritation but just recently it’s heading more towards outright fist clenching rage.
Whats the cause? No idea. Why? No idea all I know is that it feels like this simmering pent up “thing” inside that needs to come out somehow. What it is and how do you release something like that?
Breathing, tried that. All that achieves is to speed up my thinking, which may be right or wrong, and process shit. My inner voice fucks with me enough as it is. Granted suffering from depression, listening to the inner negative thoughts are common place with me BUT at least I know that yet this is something different.
Had I been training a la 2009 at least I’d not be worried about if the switch was flipped had I lost the plot. Since then things have changed for the worse in a major way. Making a fist results in guilt but yet that feeling is still there.