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Updating as o remember. Check back the history and there a chance a new post form the last few days will be up. Going to do a lot of writing to see if I can’t soothe my soul. It’s a bit emotional so feel free to bigger off and come back again soon.
Monday 1624
Home. No London marathon book to see if I’m in or out yet. Will be gutted either way.

Feels like something is missing. It’s ok I know deep down its just me and she will be feeling fine. It’s what women do. Just a part of me. Big part of me feels like it’s lost.

It’s like when you play a game, cycle run and you get that high. The bit where you feel at your best. That’s what’s missing

What’s ever more worrying is how she brings that out of me. Touching and reaching to hug at moments where I hoped she would and did. Plus the surprises she does. That smile. Damn that smile.

Does this make me weak because I love that sort of contact so much or have I been brainwashed into thinking men should be men. Stoic and just like a rock as you see in those adverts.

Fuck knows. Seriously.

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