Barking, Pissing and Shitting Almost at an End.

I don’t feel good, after four days of very little sleep, two small dogs that when they are trying to tear each other to pieces, like to urinate on something the second that you aren’t watching them and when they aren’t doing that they try and hump the poor cats, are continually barking or jumping around the place my patience is really starting to wear thin.

The two dogs, Dougal and Fergus, a small little things but managed to bark at a certain pitch which manages to pierce right through your skull. If you take one for a walk without the other, and you can’t walk them together because they try and rip the living daylights out of each other, the other one will bark incessantly until your return.

They also bark in the morning when they hear the cats moving.
They also bark when I go out to the car to do something.
They like to bark when someone goes past the window.

Take right now for example the barking but Dougal is just sat next to me making whimpering noises. If I let him out he wants to come straight back in and once he’s in guess what he wants to go straight back out. And you guessed it, he likes to bark when he’s outside as well.

When I say the two dogs can’t be together that’s no small exaggeration. in the blink of an eye it went from tails wagging to both the dogs trying to rip each other to shreds. It was vicious, really vicious so much so that even chucking a bowl of water over them wouldn’t separate them.

It was honestly Lombard that at one point both jaws were locked so tightly into each other I actually thought there are going to rip each other’s skin open.

The owner said to me that the last time these two had a fight with each other she got sent to hospital because the dogs had punctured her leg and hands.

So you can imagine my surprise when I accepted this position for the last four days to find three cats added to the mix.

Surely that’s madness? If you have two dogs that can’t be together why add three cats into the mix? Said cats are indoor cats which means the oh so pleasant task of having to empty the cat litter trays twice a day.

Failure to do this means you will get one of the three cats howling at you either incredibly early in the morning or at some point during evening even though there is very little to clean. Of course when the cats start acting up so do the dogs.

As the Cats Are Kept in the Hallway This Is the Prime Location for the Dogs to Try And Urinate In at Any Moment You Take Your Eyes off Them. After the first two days of constantly fighting this battle my patience Started to wear incredibly thin as you might imagine.

The evenings are exactly that much fun either. If the dogs are trying to urinate in the count always or trying to steal the cat’s food, the cats try and still the dogs food and in amongst all this the dogs will either be chasing the cats or trying to hump them.

I kid you not, last night one of the dogs jumped up onto a chair, onto the table in order to try and hump one of the cats. Both the cats do look incredibly minded.

The problem is right now is that one of the cats escaped the other day and hasn’t been seen since. I heard it yesterday meowing out in the back garden but I couldn’t tempt it back in.

The owners already have a slight issue with me as well. It turns out that they weren’t keen on me using their broadband. When they were away they received an email from talk talk saying they were close to their broadband allowance.

I can see both sides of the argument on this one. On one hand I perhaps should have asked permission or at least asked what is their broadband allowance.

On the other hand they didn’t make it explicitly clear that I couldn’t use their Internet but what do they expect me to do in the evenings from 6 PM till 10 AM?.

Here’s a picture of one of the dogs that got wet out two minutes ago and now obviously just wants to come back in.

Image.

If there is one positive to take away from this whole situation is the fact I’ve forgotten just how nice it is to turn on a tap and there be instant hot water.

Last night I did manage to go home for a couple of hours and see my cat. I took the liberty of lighting the fire and even managed to sit down and watch half an episode of Gotham before I had to come back and deal with the dogs barking, urination and everything else.

I have one more dog walking appointment this afternoon then I can go home for a couple of hours, come back here for 5 PM, tidy up and I’m out the door at 10 PM.

Since I got back from Oktoberfest I’ve spent a grand total of one night in my own bed.

I’m not one to wish my life away but I really am working forward to getting home, lighting the fire and spending some much-needed time with my cat.

Who knows, I might even actually get to lay in. Till 9 AM.

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Barking, Pissing and Shitting Almost at an End.

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