Be yourself but don’t try too hard.

I hate that sentence, be yourself. The problem with being yourself is that if your track record is like mine then being yourself doesn’t obviously work.

What brings up this topic is the fog that all day I’ve been telling myself what ever I do don’t tell Nina you miss her and you can’t wait to see her again.

Experience has taught me that my timing for matters such as this is always hopelessly wrong, without exception!

Conversation has dropped off quite dramatically but I’m not surprised. She has a lot on her plate at the moment and after the best part of a day of new conversation she asks do I go to the cinema often.

Later on I will post what I said to her so you can judge the conversation for yourself but needless to say I’m pretty sure that Captain fuck up made his daily visit.

You probably also doesn’t help that the other day she said do I want to come over. All I put was a stupid :-). A good friend of mine called me a massive dumb arse for this and I have to agree with him.

Echoing through my mind is the conversation I had with the big X yesterday. I know ap would steer me in the right direction on of all the female friends that I’ve pounds in the past she is pretty much the only one that I trust outright.

In other news see you has popped over for the week and hopefully with a bit of planning I might be able to meet up with her and have a couple of drinks. Of course I’m hoping that there will be conversation about me know. Not to find out any gossip but I am intrigued to see if Sue meant what she said on that Saturday night when she said she liked me.

I should give some back story to this. When I first went over and met me nina she said what ever you do don’t get caught up in her and she kisses a hell of a lot of guys. Unsurprisingly this has stuck with me over the years.

Come to think of it the last time I was over and she was apparently “real” Sue said that she was always ill around about this time of year and it has me wondering was that a cover-up to say she had a boyfriend back then.

Is it any wonder that with all of these thoughts swirling around my mind, my lack of confidence, my over abundance of paranoia, my head is absolutely throbbing.

I suppose it could be worse, I could of said “I can’t believe it’s too been two weeks already and I can’t wait to see you soon”

You see I told you, Captain fuck up makes an appearance

Be yourself but don’t try too hard.

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