Well yesterday certainly seemed to thin down the herd. Not only is Nina not talking to me any more but nor is the big X.
There is a part of me wondering if the bigots was just trying some sort of power play. I guess it makes sense. It just seems very coincidental that I’m talking to her about the German one and all of a sudden she’s taking an interest in me. Remind me to post a pic she sent me the other day.
I don’t normally post pictures that people send to me because I don’t want to betray that trust. But with the ex it’s different, I don’t give a flying fuck who sees them.
So anyways since I sent her the transcript of the chart would you be at all surprised if I said she’s gone very quiet.
I knew in the back of my head I was just a distraction because she was bored whilst her husband was away so it least I have that but why dangle the carrot of potentially popping over for a coffee?
Maybe subconsciously she was teaching me a lesson after all this is exactly what happened in Munich. The dangling carrots of what I want always just in front of me just to keep me interested.
Whilst I’m talking about women I suppose I should mention Emily. She really is a nice lass and there is some degree of attraction out between us but I don’t know if there is a “thing” between us or not.
She already at the stage where she says she is missing me which is kind of nice I will admit. I’m just being very careful not to venture into something at the moment with just how messed up my head is. I’m always bitching about women using me after a break up to get over a breakup and I’m sure as hell not going to do that to someone.
One of my longest known friends AP decided she wants to cut all contact with me as well. So that makes it three out of three so far on the women stakes.
I’m starting to look inwardly at myself and trying to put together the pieces of what I do wrong and when I do it wrong if that makes any sense. There is no way I can keep meeting so many people, get it wrong all of those times and it not be my fault.
I’m starting to believe that isolation is perhaps the best policy here. When I was away this weekend doing the home sitting in the middle of nowhere there was a certain peace I had in my head.
As my mindset seems to be saying to me “okay, so when are you going to fuck this one up” perhaps removing myself from the situations is for the best?
If I had the money there is a prime opportunity away from where I live that is just within striking distance of the time but isolated enough to be out of the way from the general populace.
That reminds me I had my first ever a phone call with an estate agent and I can already tell I hate them more than I thought I possibly could. He couldn’t have been any less helpful or disinterested well I suppose that’s what you get for still being at work at 6:30 PM on a Monday.
In other general crap. Today is the fortnightly pilgrimage to the job centre. The last few occasions have been great because they have been running late and because I put copious notes from my job searching I tend to be in and out within a few minutes.
Today however it’s one of those extended meetings where they see “what we can do to help you”
This is a trick question. When Emily talk to you well actually it’s not talking it’s more of an interview all the questions are loaded with the sole purpose of trying to catch you out and strike you from the records. This then bolsters the government statistics about less people claiming benefits.
I realise this might sound like some sort of crackpot theory but ask someone of reasonable intelligence what it’s like to go to the job centre.
Thankfully I’ve compiled a spreadsheet which makes the whole process a lot more easier. It’s funny what you can do on the spreadsheet and just a couple of formulas to randomise the positions you’ve applied for.
My argument has always been it’s a job to look for a job therefore if you are expected to work 35 hours per week finding employment should you not be paid accordingly.
Incidentally the government’s job seeking backend program thing D is powered by monster.com. Therefore it’s not that hard for someone to start monitoring you when you logon log off from the system. Believe me this is coming.
What also annoys me about the job centre is that they have radically cut down on staff but hired trainees. Reading between the lines they have sacked anyone he probably would’ve been there long enough to get a pension or a payout and replaced them with trainees they have to pay less money to. I kid you not one of the ladies there is probably early 20s. I don’t mind and so far she has been friendly enough even joking about “gypsy warnings”
Gypsy warnings are actually a thing but unofficial league. It’s how do they warn people that he really haven’t been putting in enough effort. Of course it’s an unofficial thing but you think in this age of political correctness she perhaps shouldn’t of mentioned it to me at the time I’m signing on.
As you can probably tell by this post I’ve been at home for a few days now and we can always told by the fact these get longer and that’s down to the fact I literally speak to no one one time at home. Well I have the old online conversation but no physical talking.
My drinking also seems to be a little bit more under control now. Over the last fortnight I had been drinking about 4 pints a night for the best part of the week. That’s now down to one glass of wine a night and last night truth be told I wasn’t actually fussed on having one.
Well I think that concludes today’s very boring update. I’m off to avoid looking at what’s up messenger just in case I get a message.