Boxing Day is bollocks 

Boxing Day. It is a funny old day when you think about it.
It is like the punctuation to say that Christmas is over and it start to go back to our normal lives of mass consumerism. I will say this though I did notice that there were less adverts promoting Boxing Day sales than ever before.
If anything there seem to be more of a focus on 2016 and the New Year sales, book a holiday, everything is going cheap.
In fact two weeks before Christmas was even a glimmer on the horizon I did spy a couple of adverts saying that the New Year sales will be coming soon which fills a bit harsh to me. There is all this pressure and nonsense to get us to splurge out for the big day only then to tell us that in a couple of days later the things we bought are going to be horrifically reduced in price.
This is why will you write can I do my stocking filler shopping on Christmas Eve.
Even more than normal this year TV has been horrific.
Yes there have been a couple of semi-decent Christmas specials but nothing really that you would go out of your way to sit down and make sure you watch it whilst it is being broadcast. At least not for me.
Instead I caught up on some movie watching: first up, the motion.

The Martian film stars Matt Damon as an astronaut stuck on the planet Mars which sounds plausible enough given the rate of how we seem to be obsessed of going to this far-flung planet for no reason at all that we are aware of and master governments are hiding something from us which in all probability is actually what’s happening but I digress.

It is not a bad film but neither is it a good one especially if you’ve read the book. Personally I listened to the audiobook and went through the 10 hours of audible listening in four days and for someone with my attention span that would make a fruitfly jealous that is no mean achievement.

The film suffers by the lack of time given to the major plot points. The trip across the moon takes the best part of the year and we get a montage of that. The bit where he realises when his growing the potatoes actually made a bomb and evacuate. The explosion of the whole because of a microfibre return from being used to much. All these little plot points are forgotten about on the film suffers from it but at least it didn’t suffer is bad as Specter.

Quite how this became the biggest grossing film of 2015, until Star Wars came along, I have absolutely no idea. If they were trying to kill off Daniel Craig as being 007 in some sort of weird plotline then they managed to sexily achieve that.
What they didn’t manage to establish was any sense of menace from the main protagonists or explain why the token woman in the film fell in love with James Bond some 10 minutes later after she said she would never fall for someone like him.
The payoff at the end of the film is underwhelming to say the least but that is a small set up for what potentially could be the next plot point for the next Bond film but it just seemed to lack anything.
The director just seem to be phoning home on this one and whilst to set pieces of action are okay they don’t exactly achieve anything or bring any centre real menace or achievement to proceedings.
Put simply is one of those films you don’t mind having a conversation with someone over the top as you can pretty much guarantee you aren’t going to miss anything.
Back to Boxing Day.

It’s a shame that after the peacefulness and tranquillity that is Christmas day Boxing Day is just seen as another day off work providing you don’t work in retail. For those of you who do my thoughts go out to you because I used to be in that situation and it sucks having to get up after the one day off you had to recover from Christmas Eve.
There you are in a shop nodding and smiling selling the goods that people bought two days ago for double the price and all the while knowing you’re being paid a minimum wage.
Oh, whilst I remember I am not sure if I posted about this but about four months ago I went for a tourism and IT officer position based in my local town of mine. The one-page job description then turned into a 52 page document description of what the job might encompass and what the company is trying to achieve. Despite spending several days carefully creating the presentation telling them that there is no magic wand or solution to fix any struggling business unsurprisingly I didn’t get the job.
Spent despite my extensive knowledge of setting up and running businesses, being involved with marketing and latest web trends, I am continually learning more skills in this field which is what they were after by the way as they wanted someone to come in and help the struggling businesses of this dilapidated sign instead, they went for a teacher.
Yes, is that of a business person or so one who shows any entrepreneurial flair they decided that the best move was to employ a teacher to give IT lessons.
So I wasn’t entirely surprised to see the same role coming back up on my job searching quest yet again but mysteriously for a lot of lower rate.
What makes me think I had an impact on them was that I did give them some freebies in terms of knowledge, of course this turned out to be a mistake as they took my dears and pass them off as their own.
The website got a makeover, the introduced themselves to some of the businesses I said would be a good idea and a couple of other things so I wonder if I do get in interview how do I say something but not say anything. Basically I don’t want to give away my ideas for free.
I can’t help but wonder what it is I am doing wrong. But then again I don’t always believe that I did anything wrong. Sometimes I look at the people who was sat in front of me and you can see that they like to play it safe, by the rules, they want someone to take all of those risks for them but they don’t know someone who’s going to take any risks.
Yes I realise that does sound like I’ve contradicted myself but think about it.
Take your manager in your job for example. Has he employed someone who is energetic or go getting or has he just employed a hard worker who seems to have a lot in common with himself?
It is tough being arraigned here and maybe it is exactly the same everywhere else but here it just feels like people want to put you down because it is not their idea. There are only a few people who are creative thinkers and actually applied themselves to things.
I used to be part of that mindset but just recently I’ve been wondering when I got kicked out of my own company why didn’t I go more aggressive and take on my own store and put them out of business?
Granted they did sabotage any nor business relationships I had with people but I still had one or two in areas that I could have majorly upset them but that’s by the by.
Right now I have a choice I either try my best and set up a small online shop with as many automated processes as I can or I fail.
So with that in mind as Boxing Day comes to an end I am going to open up a spreadsheet, start up a website and pray I make some money.

Boxing Day is bollocks 

A very happy Christmas. 

This might sound a little bit strange but for me Christmas Day ranks up there as being the best day of the year.
It is not about the gifts or the horrendous amount of money we spend but looking at it on a more deeper level than not, for me it is all about the effort that is made for one day of the year. There was something so supremely nice about the roads been empty on Christmas day. Granted being a little bit selfish it does make my travelling all the more easier but it’s good to know that for the majority of people they are where they are supposed to be and not on the road.

What I enjoy by Christmas is a sense of stillness. It is quiet until one day the year there was a piece that you don’t get any other time of the year. The shops are closed and people have to resort to being families. In the small was the way it reminds me of on bank holidays where shops used to close but these days commercialism has taken over and so it’s nice to know that there is one day of the year where there is no opportunity to shop and we have to face being sociable.

For the fourth year in a row I didn’t get any Christmas cards from my so-called “family” but I did get a text message from my half-sister and that meant the absolute world to me.

I only got one card this year which is from my neighbours and I could be bitter and upset about that but it least I got a card.

A couple of days before Christmas there was a documentary on radio four about those who are truly lonely at Christmas, namely the elderly or people at an age and a life where they have no kids, the other half had passed on and that for them is it. There is nothing to look forward to on Christmas Day and I know exactly what that feels like.

If I may be melancholy for a few moments of your time I remember my Christmases back in Lincolnshire being nothing special at all. My first memory of Christmas was my mum and her husband at the time coming back and wrapping up my presence completely blind drunk.

The next Christmas after that was still in Lincolnshire, I answered the door late at night to be given a threatening message to my mums husband at the time.

The next day was made all the more special by my dad turning up two hours early to collect me. Bearing in mind he had done a five-hour drive which is no mean feat and being 12 at the time (I think) I packed up my stuff and said goodbye to my mum. Some 10 minutes later my mum was attacking my dad saying how dare he that she wanted to spend Christmas morning with me and I had to jump in between them to stop any more nonsense.

It would be some years afterwards until I actually bothered to acknowledge Christmas at all. And this was when I was with my ex-fiance.

To be fair we had a couple of really nice Christmases but I can tie you much about it other than getting a wrestling game for my PlayStation two and generally eating way too much.

The strange thing was it always felt alien to me being with a family and Christmas. To be honest it fell alien being around families that weren’t dysfunctional.

One of my closest friends during my secondary school years had a mum who would actually cook for him when he got back from school.

Seriously, this was a completely alien concept to me. Living in a pub I had to rely on the opening hours of the pub or helping myself. Believe you me trying to help yourself to food in an industrial kitchen where everything is prepped from fresh is no easy task. Spinning forward a few years down the line I spent a couple of Christmases in Birmingham, and Bristol all by myself. It wasn’t until the second year of spending Christmas alone that my dad found out and insisted that I came to see him.

My point here is that this radio four documentary really hit home.

Back in the Christmases where they consisted of waking up, waiting patiently for my parents to wake up and being a fit state to open up any presence is quite lonely and worst of all the Internet didn’t exist back then as it does now.

So this leads me to think that perhaps loneliness is only a problem for my age gap and onwards.

Let’s face it when you reach a certain age and your partner passes away and you have new children then that’s it for you. I wish you are lucky enough to have a big friend network then Christmas on your own is an inevitability.

Some might say it is nice to be invited around friends and share in their experiences of Christmas but I am not sure I fully subscribe to that. If anything it serves to highlight that I don’t have anyone of my own to spend Christmas with. In my vastly Internet connected world this year has been easier to deal with the fact that barely anyone in the real world all the virtual world sent a Christmas greeting my way but it doesn’t bother me these days. I take solace in the fact they are too busy or they have friends and family or doing whatever families/couples do on this particular day.

I am so incredibly glad I don’t have the overwhelming anxiety of waiting for the next Christmas Day argument to happen.

I don’t have to deal with that stress of waiting for something to go wrong and spending the rest of the day in silence. This might sound incredibly backward as negative when I’m glad I don’t have to suffer without any more.

The only thing that I would say makes me really sad about Christmas I need does genuinely bring a tear to my eye is the fact my dad is then longer with us.

This year I realised my dad was really was truly the only family member I have. Yes he may have been married and may have had a daughter but sadly I know I am not part of their family.

Don’t get me wrong I love my half-sister dearly and we seem to started speaking a bit more often.

Aoun confided in her the other day to say luck, a lot of people are saying a lot of bad things about me but just remember this one thing I never said anything, nor did I start anything. I said to her is up to you to think and interpret things the way you want to.

She said I know, I make up my own minds. That’s more than I could have ever asked.

Subband my main point of this incredibly rambling blog post.

There aren’t many times of the year I smile, there aren’t  many times I can say I feel a genuine peace of mind. I know in the back of my head I am facing a financial catastrophe. My world is pretty much falling apart and has been for the last few years. In the last year anybody and everybody who I never thought would has tried to screw me over in one way or another.

There is a lot more that goes on in my world than I ever let on in this blog but. Christmas Day is my favourite time of the year. To know that people are making an effort to make other people happy.

That is something to be happy about.

A very happy Christmas.