Today I saw that Emma has changed her profile pic to her and the new fella. Thats hit me hard mainly because of the Dogs. Its like with Smug god rest her soul, all I wanted was to have some time with the girls and now thats going to be taken away from me as well.
After my mini breakdown yesterday I think I have decided that I can’t do the relationship with Bex. It’s not the three kids more like when I was down and needed someone to turn to just to talk about things I realised shes not going to be that person. Family and kids come first and I’m not going to burden with my crap.
Today I realised even more that I am broken about a lot of things so me generally being with someone is not going to be an option for a long while.
The pressure of what to do on my 40th as well is starting to loom large. Germany and Nina might be an option but is that it.. Well suppose better than nothing and providing I have a hotel room I can just about manage a weekend away solo.
1053: I just want to be home and have a glass of wine.
1300: Interesting C2 is going for a long lunch with a lass who I said was into him at the ill fated Xmas diner. Hope it all goes well for them.
The afternoon was another debate on how users should be with views of how crap the staff are steeped in the past. When you bring up the fact those people no longer work there and most staffers have been there for a year or more, in some cases up to 11 perhaps it’s time to get re involved.
“They should know what htye are doing if not, that goes to their manager, who goes to the finance manager and he then goes to the IT manager and someone along the way decides if its important.”
Early finish today and all i want to do is go home, duvet over head and then drink beer. Instead its of to see EE, then to a pub to play darts… .god i hate darts and then back to home hopefully..
Im feeling down….