Counselling and a casual hookup

Councelling went well today. Its great when someone helps points out something that you didnt see. Take my review the other week where Im told not to be sociable and not talk to people this much. After that I pretty didnt speak to anyone from Friday to monday, seeingly entering into a braindead state, not realising this till today.

The evening was more interesting. Met with Julie who I had a thing for about 6 years ago. I needed a nap before going out as the days feel too long. We met up, got talking. Shes changed and not only because she’s had 2 kids. Shes softer and less harsh.

Once again my past makes an apperance with a few people putting the knife in way back way warning her to stay away from me back then. One of those was a good friend or so I thought… Sigh why am I surpriswed

£22 for a bottle of wine and a pint. Shant be drinking there again!!!

2 bottles of wine later she decides she wants sex, first time in over a year and damn she’s fiesty. Not bad at all even doing things she wouldnt normally do orally wise. Including the drive back to hers. Sod it, she always had changes to say now and I asked if she was ok man may times.

Shes nice and a demon in the sack.. Well the back of the car. thats for sure. At times she got properly soppy with me as well.

It was an ok experience but I dont know. And thats;s something I’ve struggled with. Feeling dead inside. Feeling bad is always part of me. Worst of all EE called whilst I was out and I didnt have a chance to reply to her emails and that meant a small white lie. Thats what I feel crap about..

Am I going to see Julie again, probably. Shes a load of issues. Being abused by partners, sleeping around, knife to the throat apparently by 1 ex… That list goes on. Also two kids which makes things harder.

Counselling and a casual hookup

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