I’ve probably spent just as much time on the title as I have writing this article. I kid you not my last failed dating attempt was with a woman who’d been sexually assaulted a few weeks / months ago. I don’t know the details of it all but man alive… Never a good thing to hear.
Basically Plenty Of Fish is where women who have issues end up. Or at least in my experience its where they end up. Not one women on there so far hasn’t either just recently broken up with their partner or been through an experience. And these are the ones that I seem to attract. We shall call this one Lesley
Lesley and I meet at a local swimming event, well she invites me because she wants someone “there”. This is just after a couple of days of talking. We meet up after she’s swam outside in freezing cold conditions and almost instantly she starts crying hysterically. I’m a good guy so I make sure she has food and drink. We chat and its where her Pokemon go obsession is starting to come into play. I think nothing off it till later messages where I’m starting to see the first signs something isn’t right.
Saturday. She does a running event at night. We meet up after for pizza (I pay) goto spoons for tea and cake (i pay again because I’ve seen she only has £20) and cal it in a night. Later that night I’m getting messages about her being lonely and no friends etc. I make light of this but alarm bells are ringing.
Sunday. She’s quiet, I say hello and I get messages about being alone, no friends and so after a while I call her and she’s literally sobbing down the phone. After a half hour I’ve calmed her down and she’s happier so much so I’m invited to go her way for pizza. Not a problem in my world.
We arranged to meet in a car park because there’s a Pokemon thing going on. This was one of the things she was crazing over, she’d ran out of balls to catch something or other?!?
So here I am, in a car park with a woman who’s playing Pokemon, who I know and has talked to me about being sexually assaulted. To say I’m a touch wary is an understatement.
Obviously all this is abbreviated but mainly sometimes talking suggestively is ok and then it’s not. That’s when the PTSD bomb is dropped on me as that;s what she has.
Pizza was ok, mine was cold, hers was nicer, i had a nice wine and they screwed up the bill in our favour. Well again I paid. Gotta stop doing that to say the least.
Walk back to her car, say goodbye “Do you want a hug” with my reply “yeah of course” and boom friend zoned. I’d seen it coming a mile off.
The next week barely any messages are shared, always busy with an event or something. Remember when she was crying that she had no friends, also not mentioned was the offer to come over and watch some DVDs.
I’m frank the next weekend after saying I know I’m a conduit guy, the one women meet before they go onto meet their next partner. Again more messages about no friends and how even I wont go and see her. Jesus.. thanks.
This all culminates in her texting me to say “you seem desperate for a relationship” to which I reply “so because i wear my sleeve on my heart that makes me desperate”.
Lesley then shows me a snapshot of a WhatsApp message from a while back saying how she’s lonely and no friends and by her own admission she’s using me.
The thing is here when we talked on the phone we both said what are we looking for. I wasn’t the one who said dogs, marriage, kids, house, running and events that was her. I agreed with her and that’s a lot of what I’m after in my world and I don’t mind admitting it. But then tho have that chucked in my face.
Here’s why I feel bad
I;ve never stopped or just blanked someone before, well ok I have but not in years and certainly not someone who’s obviously traumatised. Yet here I sit in a laundry writing this feeling bad. I’m did see if I had her numbers to at least say Happy Xmas and give her the power back.
Lynette proved the theory about power of the last word. When we “broke up” she would ‘chase’ a reply but then when I’d reply she would drop contact.
Just another date…..
Stay Away from Plenty of Fish. It’s not worth it.