You may be wondering what I the main image of this blog entry picture of a food-based delicacy  called the quiche.

Well I am is indulging in some banter with the mystery girl from work to drop Tom to send me an email to say that her and the kids were doing some baking and cooking.

I cheekily say save me some other out of the blue to get the above picture.

As you know I’m easily confused but even I can’t help but think that there are some mixed messages going on here.

I have asked a couple of times about her family and no mention of the husband or anything about her on a personal level.

I say this of course all with the lovely benefit of hindsight.

The matter is entirely not helped by the confusing way in which an X is placed at the bottom of some email messages but not all.. Know I have issue with this I believe it is completely overused and sends out a confusing message but hey what do I know I am old and apparently it’s the done thing, even in work-based conversations so another girl has told me.

Then if that wasn’t confusing enough I like to do what I call the challenge and response test.

If they put a kiss on X at the bottom of an email I put one at the bottom of mine and the result is usually they stop putting them on their emails for a while after.

Anyways this is all leading up to the email I got last night where finally the husband bombshell was dropped.

Turns out she’s emailing me from her new iPad pro, with a detachable keyboard, and her husband has been asking why she is on her email so much and why is she so excited all the time. Her reply is that she simply excited about the business idea we be working on for the company we both work at.

Well my confusion come from is her eagerness to chat and even suggesting meeting up outside of work to have a chat. Just be told I don’t know if that’s naivete or if I am just a bit stupid.

At least it serves as a reminder from important halls with the saw things.

Number one. If something seems too good to be true then it is.

Number two: Eastern European women are a different type of ruthlessness.

I suppose the only one suppose I would like an answer to is why she tends to go on about taking up too much of my time and she doesn’t want to bother me excess track et cetera or am I missing something here?
Was that just a subtle play to have some attention or getting is it the whole thing but partly wanting to make her husband jealous or some other such nonsense five sadly bidding part of before my wife.

For anything that anyone out there wondering the website is almost done under the hard part is getting people to believe in an incredibly simple idea.

Until tomorrow.


Hello again. 

Well it certainly been a while hasn’t it and there has been a multitude of reasons for this I am pretty much it is been down to being too busy and too exhausted.

Let’s go through what I’ve been up to since I last posted.

Cycled hundred and 8 miles from Cardiff to Tenby.

Cycled from Cardiff back to Cardiff for 112 miles with a heel known as the tumble.

If you don’t believe how brutal it is, it is ranked number 98 I believe in the world’s toughest hill climbs.

Run the Swansea half marathon.

Run the Cardiff half Marathon.

Ran the Bristol half Marathon.

So she conceived it is been a fairly hectic year.

Sadly I didn’t make my annual pilgrimage to Oktoberfest this year for a couple of reasons but mainly I had just started a new job and didn’t really want to ask for five days off the moment I walked through the door.

Unfortunately I screwed myself upon this one with Nina as she had her best friend’s flat to herself underdog to look after so I like to think that maybe we could have played happy families again this year and maybe I would have started an actual chance of sleeping with her. Yes, I am still an eternal dreamer.

If anyone could ever explain this hold she has over me I’d like to hear it but it least is not as bad as the mind games that the bigger X is playing with me.

To summarise on that we slept together many, many months ago and down the line I ended up helping right her business plan which seems to be a success but wouldn’t you believe it.

I told her to form a partnership with some friends who have the materials and things that they need she needs to make a business a success.

Immediately she dismissed this idea but guess what? She’s gone ahead and done exactly what I told to do after someone else told exactly what I did.

I still don’t know if I am a father or not. Sure, I screwed up when asked to get a DNA test but now she’s completely dropped any and all contact with me however things in my head of change a little bit since then and I am at a place where I need to know.

If it is mine nothing will change.

In fact if anything I can be happy in the world that maybe an offspring of malign is going to leave a much better life and happier childhood than I could ever dream about.

A new job.

After the unmitigated disaster working for a software company on the helpdesk I was lucky enough to get a job doing something it least I partially enjoy in the form of second line support. There is one slight complication that most of the staff are women and anyone or indeed the one person who reads this blog knows that I am not exactly great at talking to the female of the species. And awkward, stumble, in Barras easily and I feel I border on being almost special needs just because I say please and thank you a lot. Trying to deal with all of my negative mind talk is almost as exhausting as the job itself.

How many days you can walk into a building and you’re surrounded by people and you notice none of them? Yeah every now and again one person in the cream you just seem to get John to and yes you guessed it that’s what’s happened to me.

I won’t name her name until I come up with a suitably witty nickname for her because Abbey doesn’t like it when I mention her by name in these blog posts LOL but she works in one of the site diary have to provide support for and we got chatting awhile back. It seems like we are on the same wavelength businesswise about setting up an online store for where we work.

We sell an absolute ton of merchandises but yet have no e-commerce solution. Yeah, figure that one out.

She also likes running which is nice to know when I asked why doesn’t she run a 10 km race she said she couldn’t because she has two kids. Nice hint dropped there when I mentioned well what doesn’t your husband look after them whilst you do it I got a strange I suppose thinking about in hindsight quizzical look and she didn’t say a word about it.

Roll-on a few weeks and we’ve been chatting over email and she keeps dropping in things like it would I wish you worked in the office so we could talk more, it would be nice if we could discuss things more often et cetera et cetera.

Somehow I did up giving her my personal email address and I have hers and she said would I consider meeting up with her as she has time off in November.

So like a puppy staring into the headlights I said of course, I have a few days off to take in November (lie) but I could work something out.

Well actually I do have two days off and I probably use and after you afternoon flexitime to go and say hello if it became an option.

Last night I get a short email from her after she is just finished learning Welsh oak perhaps I should mention cheese Eastern European, as learn English and is now learning Welsh.

Anyways yesterday’s email came and she said she wouldn’t want me using up my spare time as it is precious.

I think I have done right by saying correct, it is so if I am choosing to come and have a chat with you I think I’m using my time in a worthwhile way.

Obviously I’ve said it a lot more cooler than that after having 3 pints of ale last night.

Anyway long story short I am a little bit confused.

Is she hinting that she wants to talk outside of work just to have someone to talk to, does it mean anything, I really just don’t know. Of course now this means that whenever I email her back and completely overthinking my replies instead of being free-flowing.

I think she might have one or two small issues, surprise surprise, with people not listening to her in general because she is not from these parts. You know what it’s like sometimes you can be as intelligent as the day is long or even just have a good dose of common sense and people just don’t want to hear what you have to say for some inexplicable reason. I can sympathise with that.

I might share some the emails later on just one get a fair and balanced perspective but why have to remind myself as she has a husband and two kids.

In the interest of doing some due diligence a.k.a. stalking, to Google and Facebook, confirmed the name of her husband but mysteriously she doesn’t have a Facebook profile.

Still my stupid feelings of attraction aside I said I am going to help all right setting up around website. I figure if I can do some good in the world it might stop me thinking about her.

Typically we have to go to her office twice this week and guess what? It’s half term and she’s not going to be there.

I just have to get a grip knife and stop checking my email every five minutes hoping she sent me one.

On a side note if anybody knows a reasonably priced escort so I can go out and actually have some fun and you would like to contribute to my patron fund please get in touch.

Hello again. 

Sometimes music hits the spot.

What another strange day. Big ex has been asking me all sorts of techie stuff which annoys me.  It doesn’t take a genius to google the stuff she’s asking.  Before you know it I’m playing Netflix sales guy but was taken aback by being asked to come and install Netflix and password protect it.

Fuck it, I agreed and why not. An excuse to get a cup of tea and out of the house.  Of course part of me wants to get the end away however I’m planning an in, fix leave visit. Something about potentially meeting husband or any of the three kids doesn’t appeal to me strangely enough.

Continue reading “Sometimes music hits the spot.”

Sometimes music hits the spot.

Nothing to report.

Sometimes when I’m writing this blog posts I tend to worry more about what people think of what I write than the message I’m trying to get across.

It’s taken me about 30 minutes to write I haven’t heard from her since Monday night. I’m honestly not that needy but yes, I do miss her, but it’s not like I need constant, instant communication.

But just a little something if that makes sense?

The only good bit of news is that I’ve stopped checking WhatsApp as frequently. I think that’s a good step in the right direction. Sadly.

I still feel like there is a huge piece of me missing right now. It’s like that scene in Pacific rim where the two brothers are linked up to each other in the Yeager and one of them is ripped suddenly away clearing the other person in shock.

Last night I really didn’t sleep well at all. This normally means one of two things. Either having a cup of tea at about 9:30 PM is not the best idea in the world or there is some bad news on the horizon.

Needless to say getting to sleep at 4:30 AM and being up at 7 AM really isn’t helping to lift my spirits.

I don’t think it’s the bad news but I can’t shake those funny “feelings” that I get in my chest. Anyone who’s ever read my previous posts knows that when I get these feelings it’s always a sign of something.

It’s just a shame I don’t know how to interpret those feelings.

There is one sensation that has never, ever let me down. That’s just below the rib cage and just above the stomach and it feels like being winded through a massive punch. This one as I find out earlier year is always in sync with any woman who cheated on me.

Things that I’m feeling now are lower and higher than before. Fuck I hate my lack of knowledge. I might go in check out some books on reiki later on.

Since clearing things up with Sue on Saturday night and remembering she broke down crying when talking to me I’ve been a lot more open and honest with her. Fat lot of good that done me.

It’s always the same isn’t it. They say when you’re depressed you should reach out to friends and family to chat. As I don’t have any family these days that one is out of the window.

And as for friends, well it’s back to the same old same old. They only want to talk to you when they want something from them.

I suppose I’m doing the same just wanting to hear a voice to talk to but the differences I’m not asking for a laptop to be repaired or to borrow some money or anything like that.

Anyways I have been rambling on for long enough. I now have the joy of the job centre to deal with in the next hour.

Nothing to report.

The girl I shall affectionately call “eyebrows” :D

eyebrowsAnyone have been in a situation where you meet someone for the first time and for some reason they leave you with a “funny feeling”? I’ve had this just the other day and I really can’t place or accurately describe the vibe she gives off.
Continue reading “The girl I shall affectionately call “eyebrows” :D”

The girl I shall affectionately call “eyebrows” :D

No I will not fix your *insert outdated tech here *

That’s it. I am placing a ban on anyone who comes to me with a laptop >4 years old for “fixing”

There comes a time when hardware is dead an you have to move on. Sure ill advise on what laptop you need by why bother. You’ve already decided you “don’t want to spend much ” so off you go. Head to Tesco get one on sale and marvel at how you’ve just bought outdated technology with no battery life.

Revel in the tea and coffee making you’ll have to do as norton / McFafee grinds your startup time into an eternity.

Just get an iPad or a tablet instead and save us both this pain.

No I will not fix your *insert outdated tech here *

Startingly Frank Explanation Of Why Nice Guys Fail..

Reasons why most ladies today are still SINGLE:

  1. The nice men are ugly.
  2. The handsome men are not nice.
  3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
  4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
  5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
  6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
  7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
  8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think we are beautiful enough.
  9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
  10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
  11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

(source POF)

Startingly Frank Explanation Of Why Nice Guys Fail..

Never mention the C word when talking to a woman

Friend of a friend strikes up a conversation in a bar.
Asks me how I’m doing and mentions I look tired, I jokingly reply do i look that bad. She hangs around and we end up talking, mainly trying to direct questions about her.

Anyways we end up talking and she asks me about a project I’m working on. I say….”ahh.. no you know what that’s a coffee conversation” and then we just continue chatting…..

Oh great (smiling) I like coffee type conversations ( and I think said genuinely)

Parting ways I “say great chatting with you and I’d like to catch up over a coffee or other beverage” to which shes answers “aww that would be nice….”

Of course I dont get her number and then I hear the report back tonight. Seems that if we had met for a genuine coffee I would of just been talking about the project with her and all that.. apparently a coffee can be misconstrued into something else even when it is properly genuine.

Btw. I called it as soon as the N word was mentioned

Never mention the C word when talking to a woman