I’d hope the slag tag trend had ended…

In general graffiti is a pile of shit. Seriously some little fuckwad goes into a halfords, picks up a can of paint probably on the excuse that his vauxhall corsa has scratch, which incidentally probably smells of “da gange” and sets off to deface something.

This is the thing they deface places where the publish are going to see on a train normally so you’re sure that you’ll see their branding and their gang. Fucking idiots who the hell cares apart from the other special types of do the same thing.

So why am I pissed off about this?

Tonight in my local spoons there was a table next to me with a fine set of girls. Not women… girls.. They were over 18 but jesus I swear not one had event gotten close to being 20 yet there they were being served.

On particular lass bordering on porn star looks. Long hair scraped back, nose piercing, the sort of bright red lipstick but in matt to show she’s that sort of classy wearing nice top.

Her most noticeable asset was two tattoos on her collar bones. What the fuck man. 18 and the sort of slag rose tattoos that we all hoped were done and dusted when the slag tag phase came and went in 2016.

However Im the one who’s in the wrong here for noticing and taking a look. The sheer look off what the fuck are you looking at was met by me with a sort of smile and chuckle that says well what the fuck do you expect.

I’m not a twat here however theres something to be said for equality here.

Women have the right to dress how they like and in an idealistic society thats all good. Thats also a world where climate change doesn’t exist, racism isn’t a thing, women don’t flirt with the bosses to get promoted…. yeah podcasts keep banging on about that and no surprise you don’t care with your 50k a year job.. .Wankers….

Yet consider the following.
A woman works into a bar wearing a really short skirt
Short top
Things on display
and blokes look at her like she’s a bit easy and gets offended because she isn’t and has the right to dress like that without judgement.

Bloke walks into a bar
Dressed in a policemans outfit
Acts like a policeman
Talks like one
woman comes up to him panicking asking for help.

Bloke says ah.. i see your confusion.
I may look like a policeman, talk and act like one but sorry I’m not a policeman.

Whats the difference……

I’d hope the slag tag trend had ended…

Doner kebab flavour Pot Noodle is coming to a pavement near you | Life and style | guardian.co.uk

Doner kebab flavour Pot Noodle: coming to a pavement near you

Doner kebab flavour Pot Noodle is coming to a pavement near you | Life and style | guardian.co.uk

On the side of Pot Noodle’s new doner kebab flavour it says, in small print, “If it’s in perfect condition, happy days. If not, have a moan at the customer care department.” What if it is in perfect condition? Can I still have a moan? Because of all the things this great new dawn in British snack culture tastes of – salt, sugar, something dying at the back of a supermarket spice mix shelf – doner kebab really isn’t one of them.

This isn’t entirely surprising because no lambs have been involved in its production. Indeed, looking at the ingredients list, I am convinced it’s actually vegan, which tells you just about everything you need to know.

There was a moment, a taste echo, that reminded me of belching half an hour after having eaten the real thing – stop grimacing, for god’s sake; this is a doner kebab flavoured Pot Noodle we’re talking about. What did you expect? Proust? – but it was soon gone. Instead all that was left was that sickly-savoury, chemically-enhanced indeterminate flavour that all of them have.

And yes, I do know this because I have eaten pot noodles in the past. Hell, a restaurant critic is really only a greedy man with an expense account, and six pints to the bad I have done many things of which I’m not proud. Including eating doner kebabs. And pot noodles. And that may be where I fell down. Because to truly experience its exquisite joys I needed to be bladdered and carefree. Instead I was sober and ashamed.

Not that there is anything I could say which the manufacturers have not already said themselves. After all this is a product which once described itself as ‘the slag of all snacks’. Let’s just say that, with the new lamb-free doner flavour, they haven’t exactly cleaned up their act.

Doner kebab flavour Pot Noodle is coming to a pavement near you | Life and style | guardian.co.uk